A Random Request

Who has noticed the words: “Fact. Fiction and Random Requests” next to the turquoise typewriter in my heading? (Raise your eyes a bit. See it? Okay.) I have received my very first “random request.” A reader asked that I write some musings on an article she recently read… 

When my children were younger and still in diapers, I periodically checked to see if their diapers were wet. While this task certainly seemed easy enough, apparently Huggies Diapers disagrees. According to this site, Kimberly-Clark, the makers of Huggies Disposable Diapers, is developing the TweetPee. Yes, that’s right, the TweetPee is an app that will notify you when your kid has peed.

Curiosity got the best of me and I watched the commercial. Since the video is in Portuguese I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, however, I don’t think that really mattered. It went something like this: Baby is in a crib. Parent attaches a plastic owl figurine (who has a rather startled expression on its face) on baby’s diaper. Kid pees. Parents receive a text that their baby’s diaper is getting wet. The end.

While the TweetPee encourages lackadaisical parenting and borders on insanity, Huggies may be onto something. Notification of certain situations could be very helpful.

Like a GrumpGauge, for example. This would – as stated – measure a person’s grumpiness. When a particular person we added to our GrumpGauge app was getting high on the grumpiness scale, we would receive notice on our phone. We could then avoid that person if possible. If avoiding the person was not an option, we could at least prepare ourselves for their orneriness. How the GrumpGauge device that would notify us of the grumpiness level would be attached to the person has yet to be determined.

PristinePotty would also be an excellent app. While out in public, the PristinePotty would notify us of the cleanest bathroom in the vicinity. We have all had the unfortunate experience of walking into a public restroom’s stall only to reverse right back out because of what we found. Because young children have an insatiable curiosity with public restrooms (ever notice how your kid simply has to use the bathroom as soon as you step foot in a store or restaurant?), the PristinePotty would be especially helpful for parents.

Lastly, a TalksTooMuch app would be lovely. With notifications from our TalksTooMuch app, we would know what row to sit in at the movies and the row to avoid because someone chatty was nearby. The TalksTooMuch app would also be handy for choosing what checkout lane to not use. (Ever get a chatty cashier? I once learned the cashier I was using had recently broken up with his girlfriend and was getting new contacts. By the time he was done, the ice cream in my cart was practically melted.) The best advantage of the TalksTooMuch app is that it would also notify you if you were talking too much. This would save many first dates.

While these ideas may seem a bit far fetched – the fact that Huggies Diapers is developing the TweetPee – well, maybe GrumpGauge, PristinePotty, and TalksTooMuch apps aren’t so far fetched after all.

8 thoughts on “A Random Request

  1. Perhaps even a PMS app would be good. Especially for husbands who somehow find that very moment to say the wrong thing. BEEP- “Would you like a piece of chocolate”…. BEEP “Would you like a glass of wine”…. BEEP… “You are going to get slaughtered… stop talking”…

  2. Hilarious! What will they think of next? I guess you have come up with a few, now haven’t you? Personally, I like the PMS app – we used to always say back in the day that it stood for “putting up with men’s sh__”!!

  3. OK, I feel very odd about commenting, with all of this talk about PMS. Still, I like the idea of the TweetPee. It would be really nifty if someone invented the TweetFart that would identify that person in the grocery store who just lets it go — and informs me of the section to avoid for a little while.

  4. I recall reading about a tweeting cat collar recently. I don’t need to know what my cats are up to that badly, as I usually find out eventually anyway. (knocked over a plant? awesome! puked a hairball up on our clean comforter cover? fantastic!)
    I will, however, take a dozen of the Talks Too Much…sheer brilliance, that one! Very funny stuff!

  5. Thank you! My husband and I just returned from brunch and we were seated by this very loud, chatty woman (“Well! she said to her friend, “Guess what my brother did then? Took MY IDEA and went away! Nice, huh?!”). A Talks Too Much app would have been great today!

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